The Fallacy Of “Strong” People

Friday night, during the recent storms, there was a car accident on Courthouse Road. A car got T boned. The car struck; that guy was very lucky to be alive and walk away. The girl in the other car was sitting on the road when I arrived, bleeding from her right leg. I’m no doctor, but appeared it “could” have been a compound fracture.

I do what I do by design; I pulled over and went back to help. In a long black evening gown, on a dark and rainy night. Yup, that’s SO ideal. I had no idea I got there so soon after the wreck. The girl was screaming and started to walk around; I tried to get her to sit down in the backseat of the car to get weight off the leg, and then I smelled gasoline. Oy. Back to the pavement, but she wouldn’t sit down. I left her, with one of her companions tending her to go direct traffic.

Apparently some of the performers from the show I just played saw me directing traffic, and the mess of damaged cars behind me. No one stopped in the incoming line of cars, but I figured that would be the case. It was a rough night to be outside in.

When there was a lull in the traffic, I walked to the van to get a flashlight to be more visible to oncoming drivers. At the moment I laid my hands on the light, fire and rescue arrived, so I headed home.

I got in, I unloaded the van and prepped for Saturday lessons.

About an hour later, I checked my phone. I had left it on “silent” since we were playing a concert.

Someone had texted me making sure I wasn’t part of the wreck / wasn’t stranded / didn’t need a ride / just checking on you / are you hurt?😳😳😳

Fact; people often mistake folks who show up as strong, independent, and competent as someone who lacks a basic human need for community, connectedness, reciprocity, interaction, and loving kindness. Stereotypes and all at work, I’m sure…but still….it’s true.

I was very touched someone was checking on me. #truestory. She even texted a mutual friend in another state to get my phone number. She was on the case and was not going to let this go until I had checked in as safe.

I came to the next performance… several folks asked if I was ok, and I was genuinely touched. Folks saw me directing traffic and called someone who knew me, asking that they check on me. It really is the small things.

Here’s the point; the strong people you know need love too. They may be struggling with things unseen, private, or unspoken. Or only known to those in their inner circle of friends. But I guarantee, they are human beings too. It might even make their day to be shown they are valued enough to be checked in on. (Especially when they are often the one doing the checking on others). Thank you Rana, you are good people.

We’ve all got troubles and tangles in our lives. It’s a good idea to look up from your phone and your own little world long enough to “notice” and concern yourself with someone else’s well being. Even if only for a brief time. Most of us know this because we learned the basic tenants of how friendship and “being a good human” worked in kindergarten, but maybe a reminder today wouldn’t hurt. You might be surprised how and who you help for the better, by simply asking after them.

As I was writing this post, I was playing a video in the background while I typed. Something popped during the video with quite a bit of synchronicity to this message;

“Your actions matter. And they can change someone’s day. And the most modest things that you do that you believe have no lasting impact on the world can fundamentally impact who somebody is, the way they feel about themselves, and the decisions that they make afterwards that will go on to affect all sorts of other people that you couldn’t even imagine that your actions would have an affect on.”

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